Sex Can Wait
Sex, Sex, Sex! Now that I've gotten your attention, let's talk about it ladies. We all have a flesh and a spirit and both desire physical intimacy. However, God warns us in scripture how having sex prematurely (before marriage) can be damaging. It can also be damaging if you are married and are having sex with another man outside of your marriage, but for all my fellow single women out there, this blog is for you. I want this to remind us why we need to be abstinent or celibate and what it means to God when we are. I’ve been studying my Bible and really thinking about the benefits of waiting until our wedding night to have sex. Hopefully you can look at back at this when your flesh starts to get weak.
We Don’t Miss Out on the Blessing of the Wedding Night
Sex is more than just physical oneness — a spiritual union takes place. God planned for this exclusive experience of discovery and pleasure to happen only within the intimacy of marriage. If we don't wait, we miss out on a very special blessing from God.
1 Corinthians 6:16 Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, "The two become one." Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy (marriage), leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never "become one."
We Will Be Spiritually Healthier
If we live as carnal or fleshly Christians, we will seek to gratify the desires of the flesh and live only to please ourselves. If we live this way, the Bible says we cannot please God. We will be miserable under the weight of our sin. As we continue to feed our fleshly desires, our spirit will grow weak and our relationship with God will be destroyed. Complacency with sin leads to worse sin, and eventually, spiritual death.
Romans 8:8,13 Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live ...
Waiting Is A Test of True Love
Love is patient. That's about as simple as it gets. We can learn the sincerity of our partner's love by their willingness, or lack thereof, to wait.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking ..."
We Will Have No Negative Consequences to Deal With
There are always consequences to sin. Some of those effects can be devastating. An unexpected pregnancy, broken relationships with family and friends. We should be sure to consider the snow ball effect of sin. And what if the relationship does not last? Hebrews 12:1 shows that sin hinders our lives and easily entangles us. We will be much better off if we avoid these negative consequences.
We Will Keep Our Christian Testimony Intact
We don't set a very good example of godly living when we disobey God. The Bible says in 1 Timothy 4:12 to "be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity."
In Matthew 5:13 Jesus compares his followers to "salt" and "light" when we represent him in the world. When we no longer shine the light of Christ, when we lose our Christian testimony, we lose our "saltiness." In other words, we become flavorless and bland. We lose our ability to attract the world to Christ. Luke 14:34-35 puts it strongly, saying that salt without saltiness is worthless, not even fit for the manure pile.
We Won’t Settle For Less Than God’s Perfect Will
When we choose to have sex outside of marriage, we settle for less than God's perfect will — for ourselves and for each other. And if we do this, we don't know what we might end up with. Perhaps we'll end up in a miserable marriage.
Sex won’t produce intimacy
Sex will bring us closer as couple. This is true, and not true. The Bible says that sex causes “two people to become one.” Therefore it’s more than just a physical act, it’s also a spiritual encounter (Mark 10:6-9)
A feeling of intimacy is created by a "chemical cocktail" that is produced in the brain during sex and stays with each person for up to 24 hours after intercourse. Genital sex is an expression of intimacy, not the means to intimacy. True intimacy springs from verbal and emotional communion. True intimacy is built on a commitment to honesty, love and freedom. True intimacy is not primarily a sexual encounter. Intimacy has almost nothing to do with our sex organs. A prostitute may expose her body, but her relationships are hardly intimate. Premarital sex has the potential to short circuit the emotional bonding process. It has been cited by woman that link early sexual experience with dissatisfaction in their present marriages, unhappiness with the level of sexual intimacy and the prevalence of low self-esteem. While premarital sex does produce a short-lived chemical cocktail in the brain, there is no guarantee that it will produce long-term emotional closeness or relational satisfaction.
Hope and restoration after premarital sex
No sexual sin is beyond God's forgiveness. Thankfully, He doesn't withhold forgiveness or grace from those who ask for it. I John 1:9 promises that if you confess your sins, that He is faithful to forgive and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness. This includes all sin, and does not exclude sexual sin. Psalm 103: 12 also promises, "As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us."
In addition to forgiveness, God wants us to embrace His grace that will help us move forward in life and embrace the promises He has for us with joy. In spite of our choices, God wants to bring us relational fulfillment.
I say all of this to say ladies, sex CAN wait, but if you haven't waited it's ok! God is waiting for you with open arms to embrace and love you with his forgiving merciful heart. Seek him for strength, intimacy, and accountiblity. I promise you, it'll all be worth the wait.