To Persevere or Nah
I’ll be turning thirty soon and I’ve been reflecting a lot on the last twenty-nine years of my life. During a recent conversation with my husband, I shared with him one of my personal revelations—there is no right or wrong way to love. What do I mean by that? Often times I feel that we judge one another (or are judged ourselves) because we don’t all love the same. We see other's love standards as different—watching others accept things that we may deem unacceptable, tolerate what seems to be intolerable, love through what seems to be unlovable. But who’s to say how the next person loves is truly wrong? This is not my advocating for abusive relationships of any kind, abuse is not love, but I’m starting to think that it’s a bit self-righteous and narcissistic to judge someone on how they choose to love or judge what we think love should look like for that person.
So, what does the bible have to say about love? “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1st Corinthians 13: 4-8)
That last verse is so powerful. “Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” So maybe it’s not a person’s love that should be questioned or judged, but their perseverance that should be admired. Writing this made me think about how much Jesus loves us. He is the true example of how to love. He loves us no matter how broken we are, no matter how many times we walk away, no matter how much we fail and continue in sin. . . there’s literally nothing we can do (outside of blaspheming the Holy Spirit) that would cause Jesus to take away his love from us.
It might make Jesus more proud if we chose to love others the way He loves us and not judge because we have our own issues with perseverance. Only you know the level of love you desire to give in your own relationships and what you deserve in return. I think we can all agree that we deserve (and should give) a love that perseveres, and Jesus has given us that blueprint and there is no room to judge that.