God, Where Are You?

I hope you don’t mind if I were transparent for a moment...I don’t know if I fully trust God, yes I’ll admit it. I’ve asked myself so many times, “how can I trust who I haven’t seen?” “How can I trust Him when I’ve been hurt, defeated, stressed, and let down so many times?” Trust literally is blind faith, and faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen Hebrews 11:1. Should this be true, and I believe in my heart that it is, then this tells me that trusting is what we do because of the faith we have been given which is a gift from God Ephesians 2:8.

It’s so hard for me to completely let go of my life and have a feeling that I’m walking in the dark pressing towards an unknown future. Surely I’m not the only that has felt this way, and so I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone. “God, is that you?” “How do I know if this is the right plan for me?” “Why won’t you give me a sign that everything will be alright?” “How am I suppose to trust you if I don’t hear from you?” These are all questions that I have asked God before and felt that I haven’t received an answer. I find myself trusting in doctor’s orders, my job, my parents, and all things that are temporary and imperfect instead of trusting my everlasting and perfect heavenly Father.

I was driving myself across the state one week for work. The direction my GPS was taking me was through back roads and questionable areas. But I thought to myself, “I trust the GPS and eventually I know it’ll get me to where I need to go.” God spoke to me in that moment and said, “Daughter, how can you trust a man made machine to lead you to your destination, but I can’t get you to fully trust me? I would never leave you nor forsake you. And the roads I’ve taken you down in life have also looked questionable, but yet you questioned me and you don’t question your GPS.” I immediately repented right there and asked for God’s forgiveness and thanked him for checking my heart and spirit.

Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” This verse sums up the Bible’s teaching on trust. First, it is the Lord in whom we are to trust, not ourselves or our plans, and certainly not the world’s wisdom and devices (my GPS). We trust in the Lord because He and He alone is truly trustworthy. His Word is trustworthy, His nature is faithful and true, and His plans for us are perfect and purposeful. Because of God’s nature, we are to trust Him with all our hearts, committing every aspect of our lives to Him in complete confidence.

My Prayer is: “Lord, I’m sorry for failing the tests to completely trust you with my life. I may not know what tomorrow holds, but I don’t know who holds tomorrow. Allow me to be led by your Holy Spirit and to not be distracted by my own thoughts and doubts. I thank you for my portion. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.”